You know, some wall in me apparently broke, and I have written over 10,000 words in the last two weeks, which frankly is probably more than I've written over the last two years.  I amaze me.  And no, I'm not gonna post it here any time soon.  Maybe if I hit 100,000.

*happpy*

Hello, I am alive XD.  Apparently also I only post to LJ when I'm having PMS.  But actually, I sort of forgot my password, and there's this thing with my laptop and not having any personal crap on it, and I have got to buy a new one in August.  >.>

*heaps love on everyone*





I'm in a much better place right now, mentally and emotionally, than I have been in a long time.  I look back at some older, angstier entries I've written and think, who is that?  

First time in a long time, I'm doing OK.  I'm even kinda happy.  Found things to be happy about.  Odd emotion to lose, you miss it while it's gone, but then when it's back you don't know quite what to do with it.  :)

No matter what happens, I think I'm gonna be OK.

This is a public entry, but if you have any, comments are screened.  Just because.

It's amazing how the internet leads to both greater transparency and greater invisibility.  Just sayin'.

OK, I have become even more zombiefied (is that a word?) by Google. By the time I'm forty, they will have conquered the world.

I finally got how cool gmail is. Yeah, I know. I suck and I never check my email.

Heh. My life is weird.

But, despite the awe-inspiring tiredness, things haven't been so bad this week. I want a cheese sandwich.

// end random.

Hmmm, my father had a (possible) minor stroke last night. TIA, I think they call them. A bit worrisome given that he's had three TIAs previously as well as a major stroke. He had surgery about a month ago, and there was some concern about blood clots and fluid in the lungs, etc. He was admitted to the hospital last night and I'm not sure when they'll release him. His blood sugar and blood pressure were both way too high.

Had to cancel my lunch plans with someone for the second time in a row. I wonder what they think about that?

Longest entry I have ever written, hi, world!

I avoided watching or reading anything from the TV show Supernatural for over a year despite seeing it plastered everywhere on lj and elsewhere for a long time because I just knew that series would break me and suck out my soul faster than the dregs of a caramel macchiato through a big fat green straw.

But then I came down sick and was in bed for a while with the internet as my only solace and company etc. etc. and bored out of my skull and yeah, clicked on a random Supernatural fic. That one didn't do so much for me, but then I clicked another, and another, and then bingo! it was The Fic. For every fandom I've ever stumbled into, there has always been a 'The Fic'. The story that sells me on the series, on the characters, the story that makes me want more. I won't say what story it was here, but it was relatively short and gen and hit all the right empty spaces inside me like a key fitting a lock.

And hey, there's a character whose name has to be abbreviated as YED because we don't know what the Yellow Eyed Demon's name is. No shit.

I'll be honest, the actors are just a tad young for me-- though I am so impressed with the way Jensen Ackles can convey an entire boatload of angst with one grimace-- but still very pretty. I love the character Dean, and I love the little ways you see him (and read him) hurting. Even more, I maybe sort of love it best when he's *happy* because I've apparently developed a kink for *happy* Dean that's just sad and twisted. (Case in point? Hollywood Babylon, baby. You can't tell me you didn't just hurt watching him being so happy being 'normal' and watching Sam watching Dean being 'normal' and being totally befuddled by it.)

You can summarize an entire sub-genre of Supernatural fic with the phrase Oh, Dean (and everyone so does).

Which brings me to a semi-review/ flail on tonight's episode of Supernatural, What Is and What Should Never Be (2.20) followed by some end of season speculation. If you wanna skip the speculation/ possible spoilers for the end of the season/ season 3, then don't read past **********SPOILER*************** after my review. You got it? Episode review right after the cut, the serious end of season spec is below the spoiler line.

( Episode Review + Speculation behind the cut )

Looks like things are still on target for a 2007 release of the Dark is Rising movie. I hope it's good-- Christopher Eccleston plays the Rider... interesting choice but he'll probably pull that off. I'm a bit weirded out by a few of the storyline rumors I've seen.

OMG, I hurt so much. 10+ hours non-stop physical labor = ouchies. I have to go in to work tomorrow too because I didn't finish everything I needed to do.

I will be having a hellish week next week, but after next Friday I will have pretty much cleared all the big things I have to do for the next month and a half at least = more free time? Oh, I'll still have work, but it'll mostly be showing up and marking my time as opposed to scrambling frantically to meet random deadlines.

I'll still have some big projects going, but all of them are self-imposed, and no one expects me to do them but me (and, also, I have minions to carry out my orders XD).

(OK, that's not completely true, I have one massive project that is sort of self-imposed but I also signed in blood that I would complete it, but it's not due until Feb. 2008 and anyway I am waiting on a certain company to act before I can do much on it.)

Ger, I saw your message. Hopefully we can talk this weekend. No, that's not my phone number calling you. I don't actually KNOW my phone number but that's not the area code. XD

I totally went to Ebay today with the good intentions of paying for the two things I still needed to pay for and then not bid on anything again for at least a month, but then there were pretty things and augh! I couldn't resist. T_T

It doesn't help that I got ten thousand packages today (ok, maybe like, 5) from stuff I had been waiting on which were all stupendously cool and gorgeous and wow which, I think, reinforces the vicious circle of See Pretty! Must Buy!

Also I am stressed and depressed which leads to shopping therapy.

The good news is I am much more selective these days on what I am willing to spend money on, and how MUCH I am willing to spend, and I haven't been disappointed with anything I've bought or felt much (or at all) in the way of guilt about it in forever.

And staying in the budget for frivolous things, which is also cool. XD